Here is a compilation of the Best and Worst pickup lines told to us after dozens of interviews and informal conversations with the most successful senior-aged studs bagging barely-legal teens in America today. From bragging to begging, these lines have one thing in common... they all got some lucky old grand-dad to have sex with someone not even half their age!


20. Is it hot in here or did I just take my shirt off?

19. If I'm the king of the jungle, you're the bitch I'm married to.

18. Sure, I'm a cat lover. Let's take a look at your kitty.

17. I aint sleeping tonight until your mouth is full of come.

16. Come home. I'll make you cookies like grandma used to.

15. You can't teach an old man new tricks. But they can teach you something.

14. Everyone in bed is the same age.

13. Cock is like a fine wine, it gets better with age.

12. Your parents would not approve of me either.

11. My hard-on is the eigth wonder of the ancient world.

10. Santa wants to give you a slippery present.

09. Yeah, I can do you Elvis style.

08. You'll never know until you have me...

07. I make great chile. An old family recipe. What's the best ingredient? Your pussy.

06. When push comes to shove, I know I'm about to come.

05. I don't taste wine, I devour pussy.

04. My gears are turnin when your crotch is burnin!

03. I had sex once, about fifty years ago. I wonder if it's the same today?

02. I got thirty years on you.

01. Wonder if you kids are any good these days.


There you have it. Every line guaranteed to have gotten a dirty old man in the past humped by a horny doll younger than 22 years of age. Perhaps these old lines will give you some fresh ideas!

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